Balance.
SHAMIT SHOME: PLAANTIK EXCLUSIVE
This article first appeared on the Plaantik book:
An Anthology on Bangladesh's Football Culture in 2022.
I have never seen my notifications go off the way it did that evening.
Every inbox message, every tag, every comment was centred around one video clip going viral that involved me and a certain Thierry Henry.
“Shamit! Can you pass in one touch? Then why don’t you do it?!”
That was him yelling at me in the clip. Thierry was the coach of Montreal Impact at the time, and he was the kind who demanded the players leave their all on the pitch. I remember watching the video a few days later again and I recalled everything that he was saying. Regardless of how mad he sounded he was trying to get the best out of the players so that we could do the best for the team.
Today, I have had the honour of playing under someone of Henry’s stature and going head to head against the likes of Ibrahimovic, but my journey to becoming a professional footballer is neither glamorous nor straightforward.
When my parents first arrived in Canada from Bangladesh as immigrants, they had to go through plenty of obstacles to build a new life and settle down. My dad came on a scholarship for his PhD at a Canadian university while my mom was trying to figure out how to get into grad school. After I was born, she raised my sister and me while still attending grad-level classes.
Around the time when my dad got me my first ball, he also enrolled me into a community program to play football. The parents and the referees who saw me play in the community playground thought I was a skilful player at that young age. I remember overhearing what one of the parents said to my dad after a game.
“The kid’s a natural! He can run, he can shoot, he’s got good balance - maybe get him to try out for a proper club.”
I am grateful that my dad listened, because I ended up trying out for Southwest United and got in when I was just 8 years old. This is where it all started.
I am lucky that my parents realised my passion for the sport early on and went on to support it in every way possible but they also encouraged me to take my education seriously. I went to the most academically competitive schools that were in Edmonton. Sometimes it would get intense and I would get upset for having to switch between two things constantly, but to be honest my parents had their reasons to take a mixed approach to mitigate risks that come with a professional career in football.
When I was in junior high, I wasn't doing too well at one point and my mom threatened to pull me out of football if I didn’t improve academically. This pushed me towards being more focused in school. I knew if I didn't do well in school, I would get the plug pulled on football, and football was what I enjoyed doing the most. Interestingly, my key motivation for taking football seriously also stemmed from the emphasis on education.
I joined FC Edmonton’s academy in grade 11 but even then I was not planning to be a professional. I just eagerly wanted to earn a football scholarship to the University of Alberta and I thought that the academy would help me become a better footballer, which would in turn increase my chances of earning the scholarship. This was my sole driving force behind improving as a footballer up until I was in my mid-teens. And then in grade 12, my life changed.
I got my first call up for the Under 18 side of the Canadian National team. At first, I didn’t think of it too much or the opportunities it could open up for me. At that point in time, I was still a kid who just enjoyed kicking a ball. So when I saw that most of the other players had been in the Under-15 and Under-16 and I was the new kid on the block, instead of being nervous I was just thinking how could I make the most of this experience while ensuring that I played well enough to stay on the camp.
I got my start in the second match against Ukraine where I ended up becoming the Man of the Match in my very first cap for the national team. This is when it hit me.
I was one of the best players in the country.
That was the first time I ever considered going professional.
After the successful camp, the academy directors started looking into me and I eventually got the call up to the Under-20 team as well. Right after I graduated from high school I got the offer to sign for FC Edmonton straightaway. This was an important crossroads in my life where I needed to take some important decisions, because alongside my love for the game, I was also developing a keen interest in academics. To balance things out, I decided to get my higher education and continue my dream of playing in U Sports for University of Alberta for the fall season and then eventually sign for FC Edmonton in Spring. Even after I joined FC Edmonton, I told them that I would continue my studies and I am grateful that they were super accommodating even when I had to miss practice sessions for classes.
During this time, I was approached by the Generation Adidas program to play in Major League Soccer SuperDraft. It was a huge opportunity because living in Canada meant that it wasn’t as easy to get into MLS, that too at such an early age. Although it was still a bit early for me, I did not want to miss out on this unique opportunity.
This was the first time I truly got a taste of professional football. Before this, I had no idea how to take care of my own body because I never had to think about it as a separate discipline as I was always playing nonstop and that automatically kept me in shape. But right before the MLS SuperDraft, there was an off-season when I grew increasingly unfit and couldn’t play upto the mark in pre-season. I eventually got drafted much lower than I expected but I am glad to have been drafted by Montreal Impact. It was in Canada, where I could continue my education instead of having to move to a different country.
Staying away from home in Montreal was a completely different experience from where I was before. Growing up as a Canadian-Bangladeshi, there was always a question about my identity. A lot of people don’t know about Bangladesh here and our differences with India or other Southeast Asian countries. So growing up, when people used to ask me about my identity, I would just say that I am Indian because it was easier. If I had said I was from Bangladesh, they would have a lot of follow up questions and I would have to get into a long story. But once I moved to a new city, I had a new found respect for my identity of having a Bangladeshi background.
I wanted to explore more of my roots so I became an active part of the Bangladeshi community in Montreal at the time. Local Bangladeshi families would invite me over to their place and I would feel bad about saying no to certain foods that I didn’t eat back when I was in Edmonton. My Bangla got better too, because I had to speak it more often with the community when I was visiting them, which in turn made me connect to my family in a whole new light. So essentially in a weird way moving away from home actually made me get closer to my culture.
Unfortunately, things weren’t looking so bright on the pitch. I came into Montreal Impact injured, which isn’t ideal for a young player. Thankfully, I trained well and slowly made my way into the team; but I was still a squad player and playing all over the field to make up the numbers. I was playing as a wingback at times which is not my natural position. It was frustrating at the time but now that I think of it, that made a much more versatile player. I eventually ended up starting for the first team after Montreal had a bad run of games. And then I would get injured again and get dropped - a constant emotional rollercoaster.
One evening after training, I came home to see a video message from one of my friends. He was playing FIFA, and he had just unpacked me as a FUT card in the video game. I had a bad day on the pitch, but this message instantly boosted my confidence. Like most people, my performance relies on how confident I feel at the time, so messages like these really helped me get through tough periods. More importantly, I could always tell my grandchildren that I was on FIFA! That’s an accolade and a half for someone who grew up on the video game.
The 2020 season was my last year with Montreal Impact. I ended up having to get a surgery in my groin because of an injury and I had to sit out throughout the season. Going into 2021, they didn't pick up my option which I think was partially because of the surgery and partially because of coaching changes. I had to find a new club and I ended up signing back home for Edmonton FC in the Canadian Premier League.
Returning to Edmonton FC was a decision driven by my culture and perhaps it has held me back to some extent. Being away from them for four years, while I was playing in Montreal and with the pandemic, I thought it would be important to come back home and I felt like it was a good time to do it with my contract ending at Montreal Impact to sign back with Edmonton FC. Football has been a beautiful medium for my family to connect with one another. All my family members, even my distant relatives from both my parents’ sides have become big football fans through me although none of them were ever fans of any sport. They are my number one priority.
With the World Cup coming to Canada in 2026 among other neighbouring countries, I still want to see what is possible for the future. Maybe if I can get back knocking on that door with Bangladesh, just to see what I can do, that can be a good route for me ahead. But what matters the most now is how well my club football goes. So I am focusing on my club football first, and if I can do well there, then, national team call ups will naturally come.
Football is all about timing. Two years ago I was within the picture of the Canadian National Team; I was getting looked at for the squad alongside players like Alphonso Davies and Stephen Eustáquio but a couple years down the line, it has changed, unfortunately. That is something I have come to terms with and am using as a learning experience to become a better version of myself. Now that I have been home for a while now, I am trying to see if I can get back to a higher level, whether that is back to MLS or a completely different experience, maybe in Europe or Asia. That would help me learn more about myself and experience a new city or a different country.
I know that would mean moving away from home again, but one thing that I have learned through these experiences is that you can’t have it all. And so in football, just like life, you have to make sacrifices and compromise among things that you love - even if it means breaking the balance.
